


The Plot of a Bad Porn Movie

by alexcat



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Fuck Or Die, M/M, Poison, Red Skull - Freeform, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28434135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Steve wakes up in a strange bed. With Tony beside him!
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40
Collections: 2020 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange





	The Plot of a Bad Porn Movie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cap Iron Man Community](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cap+Iron+Man+Community).



> A fill for the following 2020 Holidays Exchange: Community Exchange: _Fuck or die_
> 
> I love, love, love Avengers Assemble.

Steve woke up confused. Where was he? He had gone to bed last night late after finishing painting a portrait of Natasha for her birthday. She’d act like she didn’t like it, but she would. Clint thought it was a good idea and he knew her better than anyone. In his own bed. In his own room. 

But this wasn’t his bed or his room and why was Tony in the bed with him? 

“Tony? Wake up. Something weird is going on.” He shook Tony. 

Tony rolled over, moaned and opened his eyes. “Cap? What are you doing in my bed?” 

“I’m not in your bed. We are – damned if I know where. But it’s not Avengers Tower.” 

Both of them sat up on the opposite sides of the small bed. They were in a small, plain room. It had a bed, a small table beside it. There were two doors. One was closed and the other opened into a bathroom. There were no windows but it looked as if there was a camera, maybe two mounted in the ceiling. 

A German accented voice that they both knew only too well spoke, though he was nowhere to be seen. “Hello, gentlemen. I’m glad you decided to wake up. I have some news for you. I have given you a drug that will kill you if you do not do as I ask you to.”

“What sort of performance do you want from us, Red Skull?” Tony asked. This wasn’t his first time dealing with the former HYDRA head. Time had not made the monster any nicer, either. 

“As you know, I was a scientist myself during the war, though my talents were not always used as well as they could have been. I am using you two for some psychological experiments. And I want to see what decision you will make, given the choice I am about to give you.”

“About what?” 

“You have been given a nerve toxin that can only be triggered by me. As long as you are obedient, you will be fine. If you perform as I specify, then you will live. The toxin will wear off in 72 hours, but it _will_ kill you before then if I trigger it.”

“What is it you want? To help you try to take over the world again?” Steve asked, annoyance clear in his voice. “Your day is done, Red Skull. Give it up.”

“Oh, no! Nothing so impersonal. I know that Tony Stark is known for dating the – ah, starlets and socialites, but I want to see how he performs under pressure in different circumstances, like having sex with a man, one man, actually.” He paused for effect. “The man I want to observe him having sex with is you, Captain America.” 

Tony looked at him, shocked and something else, something Steve couldn’t quite read. 

“That’s not going to happen, Schmidt,” Steve said, calling Red Skull by his real name.

“Ah, but do you want to see your friend die, Captain?” 

“Come on, Schmidt. Really?” Tony asked. “This is the plot of a bad porn movie.”

Schmidt named a combination of chemicals that would certainly make a potent poison. “See, Mr. Stark, I am quite serious.”

“How did you set them to trigger?” Tony wanted to know, his curiosity greater than his fear. 

“The last ingredient, the catalyst, is encapsulated and will only combine if I trigger it.” Red Skull answered, clearly delighted with himself. 

“But why?” Tony asked. 

“Oh, come now, Iron Man. What will the world think when they see photos of you and your companion in such a compromising position? Iron Man is fucking Captain America?”

Tony sighed and looked over at Steve and spoke to Red Skull. “Your word that you’ll let him go if we do this?”

Red Skull laughed. “Of course, Iron Man. You’d better get started though. I am not always a patient man. I will give you ten minutes to talk about it.”

Tony turned to Steve. “I’m smart enough to figure a way out of this. You know I am.” 

Steve shrugged. Did Tony thin he could outsmart Red Skull?

Honestly, he’d always wondered if Stark had ever entertained the idea of having sex with a man, with him in particular. Unlike Tony, his only experience with women had been his romance with Peggy and that was cut short by the war. Any other experience had been with men and not too many of them. He’d always been attracted to Stark, just never wanted to admit it to Stark or to himself. 

He finally spoke, surprising even himself. “I don’t mind, Tony. I really don’t.”

Tony got that stubborn look on his face. “I don’t like being forced into things.”

“No one does, but I don’t want you hurt,” Steve told him. 

“Let’s talk about it a little more,” Tony said. 

Steve nodded and the two sat side by said on the bed. Tony leaned close. “Can we fool him?” he whispered. 

“How?” Steve whispered back. 

“Be pretending to do it?”

“I don’t think he’s that stupid. I don’t mind just doing it. Close your eyes and pretend I’m one of your girlfriends. I – what else can we do?” 

Tony sort of gaped at him. “You – you’d do this?” 

“To save us? Yes.”

“Seriously?” Tony asked. 

“Yeah. We might as well get it over with. He’ll be watching wherever we are.” 

Tony sighed. 

Steve looked up at the cameras. “Can you at least feed us and bring us something to drink?” 

“Stalling, Captain?” came that voice again, with a laugh.

“No. You grabbed us from our beds. We hadn’t even had a chance to piss or get a drink of water.”

“Very well. Stay away from the door.” 

In a few minutes, a soldier opened the door and deposited a container of water with cups and some prepackaged cookies and chips and left. It looked as if they’d raided a breakroom. The two of them divided the food and water.

They ate but without much gusto, even though they both were quite hungry. Steve was stalling as much as he could. Finally, they finished, despite the stalling. Steve looked expectantly at Tony.

“Gotta take that piss,” Tony said and darted to the bathroom.

Steve knew that as stupid as the while idea was, he had to convince Tony to give Schmidt his damned show. If not, Schmidt would hurt Tony or worse, kill Tony, just to get to him. He could never decide if Schmidt was worse on his own or with the Cabal. He guessed he would find out soon, if Tony wouldn’t cooperate. 

When Tony came back, Steve asked him, “Is the idea of doing as he asks so awful?”

“Giving in to a monster? Of course, it is.” 

Steve bit his lip. “I meant, giving in to a monster with me?” 

“What if the others bust us out? We can’t be – what would Bruce say?” 

“What if they don’t?” Steve asked him. “I can’t let him kill you. 

“Look, he’s wrong about – I have been with a man before,” Tony blurted out, “but I don’t want to – we’re not his whores.” 

“I – there have been more men than women for me,” Steve told him. “It’s not like we don’t know what to do.”

Tony sighed and nodded, looking as if he might cry. 

Steve gritted his teeth. “Am I that bad? Really?”

“No, it’s just – let’s just do this. Let Red Skull get his jollies so he’ll let us go.” 

Steve nodded and started pulling his shirt over his head. Tony put a hand out to stop him. “Let me. Let’s do it right, if we’re going to do it.” 

Steve nodded and Tony pulled the shirt up and off. Steve leaned toward Tony and kissed him. 

“Ah, fuck it!” Tony said and kissed him back, putting his arms around Steve rather tentatively. After several moments, Steve reached for the hem of Tony’s shirt and pulled it up and off over his head, tossing it to the side. Their mouths met again. The kisses were becoming much more intense than Steve expected. 

He could almost forget they were being watched. 

He gasped when he felt Tony’s hand on his boxers, touching him through the fabric. He didn’t dare even think of how many times he’d forced himself NOT to think about this happening. He was too aroused to be scared as the blood rushed down. 

When Tony’s hand slipped inside, he stopped thinking all together. He pushed Tony back onto the small bed, running his hand down Tony’s belly to the waistband of Tony’s boxers, then inside. They both stopped and shucked their shorts, then Tony pulled Steve on top of him. 

“Cap, you don’t have to –”

“Hush,” Steve told him and kissed him. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I – you know you’re more than my best friend. I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

Tony put his hand under Steve’s chin and lifted his head. “Seriously? You mean it?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re just now telling me?” The look on Tony’s face was kinder and gentler than his words sounded. 

“We, uh, -” Steve stopped talking as Tony shifted beneath him so he was lying between Tony’s legs. They strained against one another for several minutes, cocks grinding until both of them were breathing hard. 

At the same time, Tony said, “I need you inside me,” and Steve said, “I want to be inside you.” 

Red Skull had conveniently provided them with a bottle of lubricant on the little table by the bed. Steve reached for it, flipping the cap open. He poured the clear fluid into his hand as he sat on his haunches between Tony’s spread legs. 

“God, Tony. You’re – I want you so much,” Steve told him as he slipped his hand under Tony to find his opening. He slipped a wet finger inside and watched Tony’s face as he writhed and fucked Steve’s finger. 

Minutes later, Steve lifted Tony’s legs and rocked into him over and over, looking down into those gorgeous brown eyes. He’d all but forgotten the threat to their lives. He wasn’t even sure it mattered at this point. All he cared about was Tony’s pleasure and his own. 

“I – you’re more than my best friend, too, Cap,” Tony whispered as they both moved at a quicker, more urgent pace. The sounds Tony made when he reached his peak beneath Steve drove him over the edge as well. 

Minutes later, Tony held Steve, pushing his hair out of his face and kissing his cheek. “Why did we wait until this happened?” he whispered. 

Laughter piped into the room. “You are quite enterta – what?” 

“Hulk smash!” was the sound they heard as there was a spurt of gunfire outside and Natasha opened the door to their little cell. She threw her hand over her eyes. “Ack! I did not need to see that! Get yourselves covered before Sam gets in here.” She closed the door on them. 

They quickly threw on their t-shirts and underwear. The door opened and Natasha tossed in some pants. “Put these on!” she had stolen them from some of Red Skull’s men. 

They were back at Avengers Tower in less than an hour. Tony ran tests that found the poisons but since Red Skull did not trigger the catalyst, they would be out of danger completely when the seventy-two hours was up. The poison ingredients would simply pass out of their systems. 

Sam and Clint kept grinning at them like two fourth graders. 

“What is the matter with you two?” Tony asked.

“Fuck or die? Really?” Clint laughed. “You expect us to believe that?”

“Even I knew the two of you were in love,” Sam told them. 

Steve put an arm around Tony. “See? I told you. We didn’t have to go to all that trouble just to be alone.” He was joking, but he wondered. Would Tony do such a thing? 

“It worked though, didn’t it?” Tony winked at him.

They kissed, causing Sam and Clint to make lots of rude sounds, while Natasha just smirked at them from the corner. 

Just another day fighting the Red Skull. 

Though it did sound like the plot of a bad porn movie…


End file.
